When I first came to Japan in 2016, I spoke no Japanese and only got by because in all the major cities English is everywhere. Even in restaurants if they don’t have English they have pictures and you can just point. The success rate of seeing English in Tokyo on something, somewhere is like 99%. Even in Kyoto and Osaka that doesn’t go down by much.

Anyway on that same trip I Made my first friend right on the last day. His name is Aki and we are still cool to this day. I’ve seen him the majority of times I’ve been here. I’ve made quite a few friends both Japanese, American, and Foreign here as well. Shout outs to all of you whom I won’t name for fear of forgetting someone.

The main photo for this blog though is the homie Dak. I met him in 2017 through a somewhat insane story I won’t repeat here only because I’m too lazy to type it all out and if you’re that interested ask me and I’ll tell you in person or something. He’s a barber with his own shop here in Tokyo, although that’s not all he does. He lived in America in NYC and went to school here (in Colorado if I remember correctly) for a while. So he speaks perfect English as well.

I consider him family. I’ve been to his house. Had dinner there. Met his wife and children. We’ve gone on road trips, visited onsen, and had many meals and nights out drunk together at this point. He has gone out of his way (and didn’t have to at any point) to make the time I spend here more meaningful and special. Even now as I’m getting ready to go to Korea for a few days, he is trying to connect me with his people out there.

So of course, besides my actual blood family (my cousin), he is the first person me and Nikki went to see. Pictured below is us having lunch. I haven’t asked either of them if I can post this photo and honestly they would both probably say no, but ima do it anyway and ask for their forgiveness later. (Nikki is right here but she is sleeping so I can’t ask her now haha)

Now that I’ve blabbered about myself for far too many paragraphs I want to get to heart of this post. Friends. Homies. 友達 (tomodachi, Japanese word for friend) They come in all shapes, sizes and colors and they are all special. They especially come in all personalities and I think that’s where some people lose the plot on friendship. I think if there’s one thing 40 years on earth has taught me, it is this:

Do not expect anyone to be like you.

I am a terrible friend. I never check up on people. I forget birthdays. Sometimes I take a while to return calls/text. But I promise there’s no love lost on my end at all. It’s just something I’m not good at, and I’m sorry. But to be my friend means you accept that from me. As I accept however you are as a friend. Does this mean you have to accept it? No, by all means you can cut ties. I get it, but I cannot be what you want me to be, only who I am. And that’s all I ask of my friends as well. Don’t be who you think you should be, be who you are.

Friendships can be some of the most meaningful things that happen in our lives. Yet, too often we put them under a microscope and then we can’t see the forest through the trees. In my opinion, that’s bad business. We all have busy crazy lives and relationships are hard to always maintain. But if we don’t speak for years and you call me tomorrow, ima act like we just spoke yesterday. I get it.

Lastly I just want to say thank you to all of my friends. I appreciate each and every one of you. Especially if you read this far. I also feel bad for you. I’m not a good writer. As far as what else me and Nikki got into that day, not much. Nikki got her nails done. We hung with Dak till about 14:00 (2pm) and then we shopped in Harajuku/Shibuya till late as hell at night and went home. Ok that’s about all for this blog.

Peace